I have been meaning to get to this blog for over a week now. I never know how often is an appropriate amount of time to go in between blogs. I guess I think there should be some magic formula to follow. Since it is early morning here in TX and my thoughts are about what has been going on with my body it must be the appropriate time to blog. Today is day 12 of juicing. Yes, I took the plunge and began juicing after I got back and got settled from my trip to KY. I am officially 16 pounds closer to my goal. Speaking of goals I did some re-evaluating about my goal. This is what I was thinking. I really have a set goal weight that I ultimately am choosing to weigh and it is a little more than the 100 pounds that originally set out to lighten up. It is actually 123.5 pds that I am intending to lighten up and so I have decided to embrace the final goal rather than 100 pds I am going for the full 123.5. Whoohoo--Yay me. If I look at it percentage wise I have already lightened up a little over 10%. How cool is that?
After my friend left nearly two weeks ago I joined a group that Tera Warner has on emotional eating and cravings. I read Angela Stokes Monarchs book called Raw emotions from cover to cover in a day and a half. It was very eye opening for me to read someone elses journey and see how similar our patterns are. This book was part of Tera program. Included in the program are various other reading materials and audio clips to listen to, teleseminars and conference calls re: emotional eating. I learned so much from them and will continue to replay them and re-read the books and booklets as well.
It's funny going back to juicing which I have done for about 2 weeks one other time in my life, all you do is drink. All day long. Juice, water, juice, water and of course go to the bathroom a lot too. : )
I am getting close to the two week mark and I am not sure how long I will stay on the juice. Everyday I think, will this be the day? I am just waiting for my body to tell me. Some days I feel like I am hungry and then I drink and I am fine. It's funny, for so many years I just ate my way through my days. I never truly knew whether I was hungry or not. I ate out of habit, I ate out of fear and I ate when I was happy, I ate when I was sad. Any excuse and I was eating. The whole time I was unconsciously doing that I was covering up things that I didn't really want to look at. Emotions that I didn't really want to feel. Now I am focusing on conscious eating and really paying attention to how I FEEL while I am eating instead of just doing the whole hand to mouth action out of habit. I intend to transition to completely raw food once the juice fast is over. I know that I feel best when I am putting live foods into my body. The cool thing is that I can already see a difference in my skin. I can tell on my forehead that my digestion is already returning to balance and the congestion between the eyes is smoothing out. I love that! I love how our body gives us clues as to how it is doing if only we pay attention to what it wants. For so long I have not paid attention and while it does no one any good to dwell on the past--I am sorry that I have neglected my body for so long. Neglecting my body has had consequences. I had to have my gall bladder removed in Jan of this year. That was a sign of toxicity built up inside. Appendicitis is also another sign that toxins are built up in our bodies. Most of the symptoms we have when our bodies are out of balance are just a way of our body telling us that we are out of balance and that it's time to do something about it. Do we really listen to our bodies or do we find a way to cover up the symptoms by taking another pill or potion? I think that our bodies are amazing and if we treat them just a little kinder they will continue to support us in this wonderful lifetime.
I have been knitting a test knit for a designer and the project is a wonderful wrap. This particular project has taken me far longer than I intended. It is full of wonderful patterns and cables which accounts for the extra time it has taken to knit it. I have been working hard on it as I have been juicing and I have thought that when I finally finish my test knit maybe I would end my juicing as well. It would be symbolic of finishing something and moving on to a new thing. I know that sounds kinda goofy. I had a goal to have it finished by this weekend and due to Olympic knitting and a trip back to KY my deadline is not going to be met. I figure that I have about 25 hours of knitting, at least, left to go. It keeps going on and on. That figures out to be quite a number of days left to work on it depending on the other things going on in my life and when I can get a few minutes to sit down and knit on it. I don't know if I will continue to juice that long or not--time will tell. I'll keep you posted. Once I finish this project I have a shawl to knit for the shawl exchange and then I am back to my plan of getting everything off my needles by Dec. 31 so I can start the new year off with a new project. I went over my lists yesterday and looked at all of the wonderful projects I have in my stash to knit and I have to say that it is sooooo super exciting to think of starting something new. I do have a few things that I have promised to knit for other people as well and I am excited that I will finally get to start on them as well. Yippee!
I still spend my fair share of time on the internet cruising Ravelry and all of my other favorite fiber sites such as Briar Rose, Miss Babs, Skeins ( have you seen their top drawer sock? AMAZING) and Fiber Optic and I am dreaming of new yarns to try and new patterns to add to my queue. I love dreaming and imagining because it stretches me. It allows me to look at things in a new way and see the possibilities that I might never have thought of before. During all of my exploring I look at the Rhinebeck site and I see all of the wonderful things that will be happening this year and I can't wait for next year!!! I am so excited within myself and I keep thinking of how I might win the lottery and then I could go this year. Doesn't that sound like a plan? I keep buying my lottery tickets : ) I know that knitting my stash down will allow and create more space for new to come in and that, too, is exciting. So unless the lottery comes through I will continue to wait for next year and I will know that Rhinebeck will wait for me and it will be even more wonderful than I imagined.
I will continue to take each day as it comes and remain as conscious as possible about my body and my stash and for today that's all I have. I will keep you posted and let you know how it goes.
Thursday, September 20, 2012
Sunday, September 2, 2012
Do Over's
Well here I am in Sept. and I think about all of the time that has passed since my last blog, one month I think and I realize that it's time for a "do-over". As a parent I have given my children many chances to have do overs, and now I think that it is time for me to give one to myself. So if you can all handle it I am going to do a "do-over"
I have only managed to keep 1 and 1/2 pounds off from my last post over a month ago. So right there that tells you that I have not stuck to my eating regimen. In fact, I have taken carte blanche to eat whatever I have wanted to and I justified it by saying I am moving again and by moving again I had to move my son here to TX from KY. For me that meant flying to KY and getting the car ready and then driving back to TX. We all know that it is never as easy to stay on target when you are eating out all of the time and are at different peoples houses.
While in KY I went to North Carolina to the Unique Sheep retreat and had an absolute blast!!! I am already looking forward to returning to the retreat next year. Merike Saarniit was our knitting teacher and she was amazing and I learned so many new things!!! She is teaching on a cruise to the Baltic Sea next August and I am dreaming about how I can be a student on her cruise. Maybe if I just teach a few more classes and get another job I can swing it financially. What do you think? Not only is Merike teaching but Anna Zilboorg is also teaching too. What a dynamic duo!!!! I must find a way to go, that's all there is to it! Perhaps it could be a gift to myself when I meet my goal? Hmmmm that is a thought, and definitely a wonderful incentive to reach my goal.
I must tell you about my fiber fast and let you know how it's going. I picked up some yarns that I had ordered from my LYS in KY before the fast started and they came in and the shop held them for me until I returned. There were 4 skeins. One is for my daughter to knit her a pair of socks for Christmas and the other 3 are for a shawl. The colors are beautiful, they are from three irish girls, so of course they are lovely. And I must just say that the only thing I purchased from the retreat was one set of pima cotton to go with the another set that I already have from the smell the roses club that I belong to. I can make a larger shawl with the yarn by adding both sets together. Merike, who designed the shawl was wearing her shawl at the retreat and she had made it bigger for herself and I loved it and thought that I would love to make my shawl bigger like hers so as luck would have it Kelly had an extra set of the pima cotton and I was able to score it and now I will have an amazing shawl like Merikes. I know that technically that was breaking the fast and yet you have to tell me that you would have made the same choice that I did. Plus I do just have to tell you that my fiber fast buddy has been way worse than me. She has "caved" several times so I don't feel too guilty. So I guess it's time for a "do-over" for the fiber fast as well.
Today I went to the outlet malls in San Marcos to do some shopping with my friend and my daughter. My daughters birthday is coming up soon and I wanted to get some ideas for her gifts. I guess I am in somewhat of a contemplative mood today, and I just have to say that as I sat on a bench waiting for my daughter to come out of a store I was people watching. I tend to do that when I am just waiting. I often times wonder about the people that I am watching. I wonder about their lives, what they do, where they live and what kinds of hopes and dreams they have. I imagine them to have lives very similar to mine. I also must confess that I look at the womens bodies and I wonder if they are happy with them. I look at thin women and overweight women as well. I know some overweight women who are very happy with their weight and then I know some very thin women who are very unhappy with their bodies. I honestly believe that we all have our own challenges and what I think about myself is all that really matters. It doesn't really work to compare myself to someone else or wish I were someone else, because in reality I might be way unhappier in their skin. Why is it that we judge others by looks? I know that I am just as guilty as the next person for looking at a person and judging them. It is not for me to judge anyone and yet I think it is human nature to do that. I have decided that every time I catch myself judging either someone else, or myself I will stop and send a blessing instead. I think that it is important for each of us to become a better observer of our thoughts. My goal for this coming week is to become a better observer of my thoughts. I challenge all of you reading to do the same and when observing, offer compassion and love instead of judgement.
I have learned along the way during this life, that when we give up something in our lives that we no longer desire, it is important to take on something that we do desire. As I let go of the judgement about my body, I am choosing to take on loving affirmations about my body. After all, it is the only body that I have.
I have only managed to keep 1 and 1/2 pounds off from my last post over a month ago. So right there that tells you that I have not stuck to my eating regimen. In fact, I have taken carte blanche to eat whatever I have wanted to and I justified it by saying I am moving again and by moving again I had to move my son here to TX from KY. For me that meant flying to KY and getting the car ready and then driving back to TX. We all know that it is never as easy to stay on target when you are eating out all of the time and are at different peoples houses.
While in KY I went to North Carolina to the Unique Sheep retreat and had an absolute blast!!! I am already looking forward to returning to the retreat next year. Merike Saarniit was our knitting teacher and she was amazing and I learned so many new things!!! She is teaching on a cruise to the Baltic Sea next August and I am dreaming about how I can be a student on her cruise. Maybe if I just teach a few more classes and get another job I can swing it financially. What do you think? Not only is Merike teaching but Anna Zilboorg is also teaching too. What a dynamic duo!!!! I must find a way to go, that's all there is to it! Perhaps it could be a gift to myself when I meet my goal? Hmmmm that is a thought, and definitely a wonderful incentive to reach my goal.
I must tell you about my fiber fast and let you know how it's going. I picked up some yarns that I had ordered from my LYS in KY before the fast started and they came in and the shop held them for me until I returned. There were 4 skeins. One is for my daughter to knit her a pair of socks for Christmas and the other 3 are for a shawl. The colors are beautiful, they are from three irish girls, so of course they are lovely. And I must just say that the only thing I purchased from the retreat was one set of pima cotton to go with the another set that I already have from the smell the roses club that I belong to. I can make a larger shawl with the yarn by adding both sets together. Merike, who designed the shawl was wearing her shawl at the retreat and she had made it bigger for herself and I loved it and thought that I would love to make my shawl bigger like hers so as luck would have it Kelly had an extra set of the pima cotton and I was able to score it and now I will have an amazing shawl like Merikes. I know that technically that was breaking the fast and yet you have to tell me that you would have made the same choice that I did. Plus I do just have to tell you that my fiber fast buddy has been way worse than me. She has "caved" several times so I don't feel too guilty. So I guess it's time for a "do-over" for the fiber fast as well.
Today I went to the outlet malls in San Marcos to do some shopping with my friend and my daughter. My daughters birthday is coming up soon and I wanted to get some ideas for her gifts. I guess I am in somewhat of a contemplative mood today, and I just have to say that as I sat on a bench waiting for my daughter to come out of a store I was people watching. I tend to do that when I am just waiting. I often times wonder about the people that I am watching. I wonder about their lives, what they do, where they live and what kinds of hopes and dreams they have. I imagine them to have lives very similar to mine. I also must confess that I look at the womens bodies and I wonder if they are happy with them. I look at thin women and overweight women as well. I know some overweight women who are very happy with their weight and then I know some very thin women who are very unhappy with their bodies. I honestly believe that we all have our own challenges and what I think about myself is all that really matters. It doesn't really work to compare myself to someone else or wish I were someone else, because in reality I might be way unhappier in their skin. Why is it that we judge others by looks? I know that I am just as guilty as the next person for looking at a person and judging them. It is not for me to judge anyone and yet I think it is human nature to do that. I have decided that every time I catch myself judging either someone else, or myself I will stop and send a blessing instead. I think that it is important for each of us to become a better observer of our thoughts. My goal for this coming week is to become a better observer of my thoughts. I challenge all of you reading to do the same and when observing, offer compassion and love instead of judgement.
I have learned along the way during this life, that when we give up something in our lives that we no longer desire, it is important to take on something that we do desire. As I let go of the judgement about my body, I am choosing to take on loving affirmations about my body. After all, it is the only body that I have.
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