I can't believe that it has been a whole week since I started my blog. So many things have happened. Many changes are taking place in my life. Last Sunday I boarded a plane for Austin, TX. My husband very recently got a job there with a new company. Which means that we have to move our family again. We just had our last move 8 months ago. I spent the first two days in Austin on a roller-coaster of emotion and a lot of time crying on and off. The first day of looking at houses was simply depressing because I went from looking at beautiful houses that I could not afford and that I really wanted, to houses that I could not imagine my family living in. Then on Wed. when I had almost given up and we stopped in front of the last house on my realtors list I knew this was the one. One step in the door and I was home. Do you know how you just know? That was it for me. The only thing left was to suffer the wait to see if we were approved or if someone had slipped their application in before us. I was at the realtors office 10 minutes before 8 the next morning with my application and deposits in hand trusting that this was supposed to be mine. So when the receptionist opened the door I stepped in with my spiel only for her to tell me the realtor in charge of my property was not feeling well and would be in a little late, to which I said "no problem I have my knitting and I am happy to wait". You see, there was no way I was going to take a chance of someone slipping in front of me. He did finally arrive 3 1/2 hours later--hey my sock that I was knitting was almost finished so I was good with that. Then he told me that it would be late that afternoon or the next morning before I would know anything. My heart fell to my stomach and I had that sick feeling all over again and the "what ifs" began to circle in my head: what if he got sick and didn't process it today, what if I something was missing from my application, what if they couldn't get a hold of someone they needed to verify or worse yet what if they said NO? Too many thoughts and the only thing I could think of was to go find a knit shop and that is precisely what I did. I don't know about you , for me, just being in a yarn shop surrounded by fiber yumminess always makes me feel better. I just have to say that it really is a small world- I know that sounds cliche and yet it is true. Here is my real life demonstration that we live in a small world. I had been chatting with a new friend whom I had never met in person, only through Ravelry and there she sat in the knit shop that I wandered in to. I kept looking at her like I should know her but really couldn't figure out how. Then someone said her name and I knew it was the knitter I had been pm for weeks. I had seen her picture on her Ravelry page. What a serendipity! We exchanged greetings and then visited for a few hours which helped to pass the waiting time and just when she had to leave the call came--I recognized the realtors number and I broke out in a small sweat and nervousness gripped my body and a thousand scenarios ran through my head, you know the ones I am talking about .....and then he said it : we've decided to approve you and it was like music to my ears and I let out a silent YES ! Woo hoo I had a place to live!!! Now all that was left to do was to go home and pack and call the movers. It was really happening. I only wonder how I might have felt if only I would have let go a bit sooner and allowed the Universe to handle it for me?
Now I'm sure you are wondering how I did with the fiber fasting and the healthy eating habits while I was in Austin and going through all of this turmoil. I did great with the fiber fast I would have to say because I only purchased a few things--now before you go getting all judgmental let me explain--this is the excuse thing that I talked about in my last blog--Teehee. I purchased yarn for the International Sock swap that I am in because I didn't have anything in the desired colorway of my partner and really who would want a pair of socks that is a color they would never wear? You have to agree that it was a necessary purchase-right? There was one more purchase though and that was yarn to make the Rock Island shawl and let me just say that it was the last two skeins in that colorway and they were having a 20% off sale and come on what knitter can pass up 20% off? Ok so I choked and yet in reality my fiber fast doesn't officially start until the 17th of this month. (I know you are thinking excuse) As I sit here typing I am aware of all of the excuses and "wow" the awareness is astounding for me. It really makes me think. This fast is going to be harder than I thought. Especially because while in Austin they told me about a yarn crawl that they have in Oct.--the temptation makes me think about Adam and Eve and I wonder how the temptation made them feel? At least I have several months to prepare myself--stay strong is the mantra in my mind at the present moment. Results, results, I want results. Do I even need to go on the crawl? Rhinebeck, Rhinebeck, Rhinebeck!!!
As for the food in Austin---well just let me say it's AWESOME! So many great restaurants and street vendors to explore and so little time. There was a street vendor with the most amazing cupcakes and on Tues. which was my sons birthday I had a carrot cupcake in his honor. Super Yummy! It is safe to say that I ate my way through the emotions that I was having. I ate at a different mexican rest. virtually every night. It was wonderful and then I came home on Friday and had and still have swollen ankles and sore feet and after packing all day yesterday a sore knee. Which brings me to this moment when I say to you now, I know why I want to be eating a healthy "live it". Because I am sore and it is painful and all of these signs are simply my body saying "hello, wake up, quit torturing me. Now I must listen. So for today I will share with you that I am enjoying 1 gallon of distilled water and the juice of 1/2 lemon. It's time to let go of the junk that I thought was my comfort because let me tell you that I am not comfort-able now! I am very UN-COMFORTABLE! On the plus side of moving to Austin I found the whole foods grocery store that is the headquarters for the company and it is one of the most beautiful grocery stores that I have been in. I know that they will always have amazing healthy options for me. Farmers markets are a real bonus there as well--I can't wait for all of the local fresh produce.
Speaking of letting go- I am really not loving this packing thing, although I will say that it really forces me to see all of the "stuff" that I have. I am forced to ask myself once again if I really need all of the things that I have. In some situations it would be fine to let go of the objects that I have not used or even forgotten that I have. And just when I am ready to let go emotion swings in a that little voice in my head says "do you really want to part with it?" I seem to always find a way to justify something.
Today my pastor said something that hit home for me. She said, "if we have to justify something-then there's something wrong. Hmm, I know that there are many times that I have to justify things in my mind quite a bit. I imagine that when I do that there are many things that are wrong. Do we blame others? she asked. Do I listen when my heart tells me something or do I do what I want and think I will reconcile it later?" I thought that all of these statements were very poignant and I have thought about them all day. Even when I went to the grocery store and thought I will just buy a package of oreos and share them with the kids and start my "live it" tomorrow and then I paused and thought to myself--"self, what are you doing?" and I passed right by the cookie aisle and bought my water. It was not so easy though. How many times a day do we go about life and we do not even stop to listen? Listen to our bodies, listen to our thoughts, listen to the words of others speaking to us and most of all do I listen to what spirit says to me? I must admit that I need more time in the silence to listen.
Letting go is probably one of the hardest things to do and yet it can also be one of the most important things that we must learn to do. For it is in the letting go of things that no longer serve us that new and greater things come to us. Blessings beyond our wildest dreams.
No comments:
Post a Comment